Every mother teaches her children, whether you have just a few minutes a day or 24/7 to be teaching, you CAN and DO teach your Children!

This is just a little notebook tucked away on the web for all the little things I'm learning as I teach my children, but mostly learn from them, and especially the things I wish I could have known 6 children ago! Becoming a Mother is such a beautiful and strenuous process that unfolds line upon line.

Enjoy and please feel free to contribute thoughts, links, and ideas you have or find!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Becoming A Better Teacher

As I search, study, ponder, and pray upon the topic of teaching my children I come across so many wonderful resources of information.  Each explains and enlightens the subjects of; the calling to be a parent, children's development, and many other wonderful topics to guide the quest to Teach the Children.  Take the time to study, pray, and ponder on these things the Lord then can guide and inspire you.  Elder Holland has said, "To teach effectively and to feel you are succeeding is demanding work indeed.  But it is worth it.  We can receive 'no greater call' ".  ("A Teacher Come from God," Apr. 1998 general conference).

LDS.org has more wonderful resources and inspirational guidance on your path to becoming all you can be as a mother, a father, a teacher, than you will find anywhere else.  Take time to study the doctrine of teaching and of the scriptures, of the Prophets, of our Savior Jesus Christ.  Then you will become all that you can be and all that your children need you to be.  "The Lord can do remarkable miracles with a person of ordinary ability who is humble, faithful, and diligent in serving the Lord and seeks to improve himself.  This is because God is the ultimate source of power." ~ Elder James E. Faust, "Acting for Ourselves and Not Being Acted Upon," Oct. 1995 general conference.

In particular there is a whole section of LDS.org that is dedicated to Teaching the Gospel, and "What teaching can compare in priceless value and in far-reaching effect with that which deals with man as he was in the eternity of yesterday, as he is in the mortality of today, and as he will be in the forever of tomorrow." J. Reuben Clark Jr., "Excerpts from The Charted Course of the Church in Education," Ensign, Sept. 2002, 60.  Teaching the Gospel is full of guidance and direction as you learn of the importance of Your Call to Teach; the Principles and Methods of Teaching; Teaching Children, Youth and Adults; and Teaching in the Home.  Each section will inspire and educate as you seek to become a better teacher, mother or father to your children.

Truly I am amazed, I have heard of this book, and we have it in our personal library collection, but I never knew what a treasure trove of parental guidance lay within it's pages.  A favorite quote from it's pages is;
"Elder M. Russell Ballard said, “Clearly, those of us who have been entrusted with precious children have been given a sacred, noble stewardship, for we are the ones God has appointed to encircle today’s children with love and the fire of faith and an understanding of who they are” (“Great Shall Be the Peace of Thy Children,” Ensign, Apr. 1994, 60). The Savior’s example sets a pattern for us as we teach, care for, and influence children.

It is a sacred responsibility to teach children the gospel of Jesus Christ and help them learn to live it. ...... With the Spirit to guide you, you can love and teach children in a Christlike way. You can help each child find the peace promised to those who follow the Savior: “All thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children” (3 Nephi 22:13)."

Teaching, No Greater Call: A Resource Guide for Gospel Teaching: Lesson 2: Age Characteristics of Children - This is a Wonderful resource for learning child development and growth, it starts at 18 months and goes on to 12 years old.   A very good thing to have as a guide as you plan lessons and activities for your children and to help you understand the way they see and understand things at the stage they are in.  

Pres. David O. McKay stated that "No greater responsibility can rest upon any man [or woman] than to be a teacher of God's children." (Conference Report, Oct. 1916, 57.)   As mothers and fathers we have been given the greatest gift of trust and responsibility.  Let us honor that trust and that love, by becoming the best we can be through earnest study and faith, and by teaching His and our dearest little ones every day in every way.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Tell me the Stories of Jesus

Sunday, and truely everyday is a perfect time to tell our children the stories of Jesus.  There is a wonderful article on LDS.org http://lds.org/pages/tell-me-the-stories-of-jesus?lang=eng, follow the links at the bottom to read through Elder Anderson's talk on "Tell me the Stories of Jesus".  Take time to teach your little ones the stories of Jesus.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

A mother's education... and some other thoughts

I have a very active mind, my husband and I joke that it is like there is a hamster in there that loves to run on the wheel and rarely stops.  I have Always loved learning and college was one of the favorite times of my life, if I could be an eternal college student I'd love it!  We've always talked about how I would take a class here or there once my husband had finished his education and we could afford it.  Now I'm beginning to wonder if it is yet that time of life... I would Love to take a class... and yet, life is so full that I'm not sure that it would fit in now... or even will anytime in the near future.  Being a mother is a full time job!  And one that I love, yet often I find myself looking for a little something for me.  The ideas of what that could be change constantly, everything from a community class, to a creating a small home based business and back again.  As a bit of a perfectionist (in some specific areas, other areas not so much...) I can really get into an idea, make lots of preliminary plans, and then realize that it would cause disruption in our home and family, so I drop it... but I am having a hard time finding something that could fulfill that desire without becoming a distraction from the things and more importantly the people at home that mean the most to me.  So I am turning in circles, most days I am completely happy and love being home every day with my little ones, but there are days that I'm down and out feeling tired and dizzy trying to find a creative outlet.  (The pregnancy hormones are likely to blame for part of it ;-)  I find it funny too that despite the fact that I often feel overwhelmed by the number of things that are on my "to do list" and I'm not getting too, yet I want to add something else to it too!  What an interesting creature a woman is!   I'm digressing, so on to the point of this post...

In some of my pondering and searching I came across some great articles that I wanted to be able to find again and that I feel a desire to write down my thoughts on (mostly so if tomorrow is a tough day I can come back and read this again!)

In the March 1975 Ensign, a section titled "Insights" if you scroll down a little there is an article called "Women and Education" that I found very comforting.  It mentions that we have been taught by the leaders of our Church that "mothers who have young children in the home should devote their primary energies to the companionship and training of their children and the care of their families", and it brings me comfort knowing that I'm working everyday to do just that.  It also talks of how much of a woman's life is not during this stage, and that is one of the reasons why we are encouraged to gain an education. Sometimes when we are in the stage of young children, it is hard and sad to imagine that someday they will no longer be young!  As I transitioned straight from finishing my education into becoming a mother, sometimes I wonder if I will ever really use or need the degrees that I worked to obtain.   So it is nice to think that an education is to prepare us not only for motherhood but also our entire period of life.

At the bottom of the same "Insights" there is an article called "The Creative Climate" and is a great eye opener as to things we say to our children that either cultivate their creativity or discourage it.  Here are a few of the statements that foster courage, self-confidence and creativity:

"That time you almost did it; you're doing better every time.

That's a good idea!

That looks interesting.  Tell me about it.

It's okay if you get dirty.  :-)

Have fun!

I appreciate your help.

What ever you decide is fine with me."
And the list goes on.

I also found an article about "Lifelong Learning" on Mormon.org a few of my favorite quotes from there are "God expects all of us to gather as much knowledge as we are able—at school, at work and on our own. Doing so will help us through the challenges of this life, bring us closer to Him and prepare us for the life to come."  Pres.  Uchtdorf said, "...encourage your families… to learn and become better educated. If formal education is not available, do not allow that to prevent you from acquiring all the knowledge you can. Under such circumstances, the best books, in a sense, can become your 'university'—a classroom that is always open and admits all who apply.”  So even though taking more formal educational classes, or beginning a small home based business is not the best thing to do at this stage of my life, I can continue to learn and I must not become discouraged, but search out the best books to read and to learn from.  Then if the time comes that I can "do more" so to speak, I will be more prepared to succeed.  And even more important is that we find joy in the journey, and as Elder Uchtdorf recently said, "forget not to; be patient with ourselves, the difference between a good sacrifice and a foolish sacrifice, to be happy now, the "why" of the gospel, and that the Lord loves you."


Saturday, October 1, 2011

Admire-ation

A thought I'm pondering on, what promotes the true love and admiration of ones loved-ones?  Both the giving and receiving end of that love and admiration?  The dictionary says that Admiration is "respect and warm approval and pleasurable contemplation"; Admire is "regard with respect or warm approval, look at with pleasure"; Love is "an intense feeling of deep affection, a great interest and pleasure in something". How many of us long to be looked at with love and admire-ation (combined admire and admiration)? And yet how often does it happen? Yesterday, I did something that promoted that look of pleasure, warm approval, and deep love in the eyes of my dear husband. And it struck me to the core that it has been a little while since I've seen that look. I'll admit that being a woman (and a pregnant one at that ;-) my first thoughts about it were not admirable, I was hurt and upset that he doesn't look at me like that as often now as he used to. As I was contemplating why that might be, it started to dawn on to me that maybe it was because I was not promoting those feelings of respect, warm approval, and pleasurable contemplation in him as often as I used to.  I know that he loves me and I love him!  Truly I believe that our marriage in many ways gets better every year, but that does not mean that there are not areas that don't need some work, polishing and shining it to make it sparkly again.  (Have you ever read the  "Eternal Marriage and the Parable of the Silverware"?  It is a great book!)  And what about my four adorable little boys?  How often have I seen that look of loving admiration in their eyes?  More importantly when have the 5 most important men (man & 4 little men) in my life seen that look in my eyes?  What am I doing to inspire that love and admiration for me in them and to find the things in each of them that inspire it in me?  Much to think and ponder on...  I'm looking forward to listening to General Conference today and see what messages the Prophet and Apostles have to share with us today and tomorrow, maybe some will have a lot to do with the things that I need to focus more on, like taking time to love and truly admire and show that love and admiration to the people who are most important in my life.  Because we all need to see that look in someones eyes.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Children Learn What They Live

On those days when I become overwhelmed and my patience is wearing thin, I like to remember this quote...



Download free jpg of 'Children Learn What They Live' - it is 8x12" or any 4x6" ratio

... it helps me to remember to be Tolerant, Encouraging, to Praise, Accept, be Honest, treat with Fairness, give Security, and be Friendly to my children, for that is the sort of life I want them to Live!  I saw this quote at a Dr's office, it struck a cord in me, and I LOVE it!  It helps me remember that to raise a patient, confident, appreciative, loving, honest, fair, secure, faithful, and friendly child I must first treat him or her so!  I hope it helps you feel empowered to be the best you can be for your child too.

As I work to find the "niche" for this blog and our preschool here at home.  My dear husband found a wonderful looking book on Amazon called Mommy, Teach Me: Preparing Your Preschool Child for a Lifetime of Learning, I have only read the introduction from the "Click here to look inside" link on Amazon (A great little feature that lets you preview parts of the book) if you have a minute - go read her introduction, my favorite page is pg 7.  It is SO good and so empowering!  You can teach your children.  I am going to be saving up for this book!  Enjoy!

  Soon I will also have a free .psd template file for this quote as well so those with photoshop can replace the photo with their own.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Pumpkins, Pumpkins, and more Pumpkins!

Hello!

School is starting, the weather here is still summer-licious, and my pumpkins are coming in beautifully!  (Considering I had about 100 volunteer starts from last years pumpkins... it wasn't too hard to do.)  I think I will try selling a good deal of them, as there are likely 50+ plants, and frankly I really Don't need that many pumpkins... who does?  If I'm going to sell these beautifully tasty little things I thought I ought to try and compile a good deal of pumpkin recipes.  And here they come...  Enjoy!

One of many ways to puree pumpkins: How to roast a pumpkin for pie

I do like pies, but I don't LOVE pumpkin pie... what I do LOVE is Pumpkin Cake!!  I could eat it all day, (and generally do when one is laying around).  So here is my Favorite, Incredibly easy Pumpkin Cake Recipe.

Pumpkin Cake
Mix up pumpkin as directed on back of can for one pie (for those using a can), other wise do the following:  
  • 15 oz (about 2 cups) pumpkin puree
  • 3/4 cup sugar
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp ground ginger
  • 1/4 tsp ground cloves
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 can (12 fl. oz.) Evaporate Milk - or 1 1/2 cups your choice of milk (I used almond milk and had people RAVING about it!)
Mix sugar, cinnamon, salt, ginger and cloves in a bowl.  Beat eggs in another bowl.  Mix in the pumpkin and the sugar & spice mixture.  Then blend in the milk.  Pour into a 9x13" pan, sprinkle on a delicious box of Duncan Hines (or your favorite brand) Yellow Cake Mix (I used to eat this stuff right out of the box... so tasty!) - Sprinkle Heavily (it gets beautifully thick!).  Then melt a cube of butter, yum delicious butter... or if your dairy intolerant use a buttery stick... not as delich but still good!  And drizzle it slowly all over the cake mix.  Stick that wonderful thing in the oven for 50 mins at 350°.   Enjoy the aromas until it is ready, then enjoy!  For those dairy tolerant people out there (PS - can you tell I envy you right now...?) add some real whipped cream or vanilla ice cream and your in heaven!  Sugar-n-Spice and Everything Nice... how can you go wrong?


I Love Pioneer Woman, you can see all her pumpkin recipes here, and I have included a few of the basic ones below.
Homemade Pumpkin Puree
Pepitas

Due to the joyful fact that our 5th little one is on the way, my body has decided that dairy is BAD... allergic/food poison type bad (gratefully this only happens when pregnant and I'm hoping that it subsides as well this time as it did last... really I love dairy, cooking with dairy, especially butter, butter, and yep butter... )!  So the below are a few dairy free ways to use pumpkins.  I also alter most of the above recipes where needed using buttery sticks, or almond/rice milk, and they all turn out pretty dang good.
Vegan Dinner in a Pumpkin


More to come...

If you have any fantabulous recipes you'd like to add please do!  (Email me or leave one in the comments!)  Thanks and Enjoy the beginnings of Fall!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

"H, h" words

I lived in Heaven a long a time ago, with Heavenly Father.  He sent me here to earth to live in a Home with my family.  We can be Happy in our families, and live the Plan of Happiness that Heavenly Father has given us.  When I turn 8 I can be baptized and receive the Holy Ghost, he Helps me know right from wrong.  With Hope and Faith in Jesus and Heavenly Father I know that I can return to my Heavenly Home again someday.


A list of "H, h" words, each word will be linked to resources, coloring pages, and activities for that word.  If you can add words or links please feel free to post it in the comments!  Enjoy!


Hat
Helicopter
Horn
Harp
Hammer
Hood
Hospital


Animals -
Horse
Hen
Hog
Hippo
Hummingbird
Hive (bee)


Body -
Heart
Hair
Hand
Head
Hear
Heel
Height
Health/Healthy
Heal


Educational -
History/ Heritage
Hazard
Heat/Hot
Heavy
Hebrew
Herb
Hide
High, Higher, Highest
Hill
Hold
Hole
Husband


Emotions, Morals & Values -  
Honesty
Happy/Happiness
Hate
Help/Helpful
Honor/Honorable
Hope
Hospitality
Humble
Humility
Hurt


Food -
Honey
Hot Dog
Hamburger
Hunger/Hungry


Religious/ LDS -
Heaven
Heavenly Father - “I Am My Heavenly Father’s Child,” Friend, Feb 2005 - coloring page  “Sharing Time: Heavenly Father’s Plan,” Friend, Apr 1995 - coloring page/good deed path to follow
Holy Ghost - "Moroni's Word's to Us" (Friend, Dec 2000) “And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.” (Moro. 10:5.) The Holy Ghost Testifies to Me - coloring page (Friend, Aug 1991)
Laying on of Hands
Hard heartedness
Harvest
Heal
Hebrew
Heed
Holiness
Holy
Honoring Father & Mother
Hope
Hosanna
Hymn
Plan of Happiness - “Sharing Time: My Life Has a Plan,” Friend, Feb 2006 - coloring page  “Sharing Time: Heavenly Father’s Plan,” Friend, Apr 1995 - coloring page/good deed path to follow



Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Baby Steps# 1 - A Schedule/Chore Chart

Baby Steps # 1 - A Schedule - for me this seems the ultimate step, we need to establish healthy habits and routines!  The boys need to feel accountable and excited about doing the things they need to do. We Need to be Dressed and ready for the day before 10am! (Opps - not there yet today ;-) But that's okay, because we are just starting, we will get there! I've googled chore charts and all its variations and haven't found anything that "fits". So I'm going to make my own.

Today we are taking pictures of the boys doing all the routines that we are going to put on their schedule/chore chart (which is part of the reason we still aren't all ready, the camera battery died, and is charging as I write. While the boys are playing contentedly, 1 dressed, 2 only 1/2 dressed, 1 "belly-boy" aka running in a diaper). Anyway, each chart will be customized to them! My hope/wish/dream is that it will help make it fun to check their schedule and then go and do the items on it!! The truth is yet to come ;-)!

GOAL: Have a schedule/chore chart created and begin using it by Friday!

What's your goal?

Do you know of any great schedules, chore charts, ideas for organization/motivation, etc... if so please share!

Jumping into Spring ~ Starting anew ~ Creating a house of Order!

Hello and Welcome!

Today is the beginning of much! It is Spring and BEAUTIFUL!! The flowers are blooming, the day is warm, and we are beginning a new journey! Your welcome to join us!

The Goal #1 - Become Organized, Set our Home in Order!

"Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house,
even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning,
a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God." D&C 88:119 (emphasis added)

Once Order is put in place (as much as possible) - hopefully by summer's end -

Goal #2 - Compile a LDS Gospel Based Pre-School Curriculum - that can be used by mother's everywhere, within their own homes with their own Children. The plan is to compile 1-2 lessons every week, as we do it here, and post it here on my blog - so anyone can Teach Their Children. It will not be just for Preschool but also for mothers to find an alphabetized list of resources to teach their children at any time; FHE, after-school, Sunday activities, lessons, basically any time you want to teach children a gospel principle there will be an index of great articles and coloring/activity pages to go along.

Okay - back to Goal #1! I'm breaking this down into baby steps! Otherwise I'd become overwhelmed and give it up ~ which has happened before ~ but this time I want to feel accountable to someone, so if you are out there and want to tell someone about how your goals are coming, say Hi in the comments, set your goal, and we'll all work together to attain our goals!

Baby Steps - A few of the ones I'm thinking are needed... more to come I'm sure!
#1 ~ A Schedule/chore chart (kids)
#? ~ A Schedule/chore chart (for Mom!)
#? ~ Menu/meal planning
#? ~ Cleaning
#? ~

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Learning Fun For Preschoolers

For those who are LDS there is some great information for mothers & families about pre-schooling in the Family Home Evening Resource Book.  Enjoy!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Keeping it real...

Yesterday was a GREAT day!  And today was really good... but reality/discouragement took hold a bit tonight.

So why?  Well things in this household, with 4 boys ages 5yr, 2 - 3yrs, & 1yr old, tend to balance on the edge of what I call survival living... always doing the basics, but isn't that what motherhood is all about?  Possibly, but my husband and I dream of something more!   We would both love for the house to be cleaner and more organized and orderly so that come that one wonderful day of the week when we have a whole day with Daddy, we aren't spending it cleaning!  We have tried multiple times to find solutions and techniques to help me keep up with it all... to no lasting avail.  I took a great class called "A clean house in minutes a day" a year or so ago from Mary Ann of Mary Ann's Cupboards... but didn't implement it into my home at that time (due to Andrew being born).  So I pulled out my class binder and started looking at it. We decided that a good deal of the problem was that our mornings were starting off way to slow with a lot of bad habits.  So we went through and laid out a plan of new good habits to have and do everyday so that I am able to accomplish something more than the absolute basics.  Our day now starts at 6am, earlier if we want any personal study time.  And the first day was AWESOME!  I also found ways to distract the boys from all TV or computer (myself included) for the whole day!!!  We had a great day the best, happiest, and fun filled we've had in a long time!!  On top of that I got a lot of cleaning and organizing done!

Today started off really good... but then a few old habits slipped in, and things started going down hill... I got distracted on the computer for 1/2 hr, and lost the pace that I'd been moving at.  And at the end of the day, honestly my house seems like it is back to square one... floors need vacuumed, mopped, dishes need done, laundry needs folded, toys are scattered, and oh how the paper piles are my nemesis!  No wonder they say a mother's work is never done, whether than means mothering the children, or working in the home it applies both ways I'm sure.  I'm exhausted... so good night and hopefully tomorrow I'll stay on track and feel a little more accomplished by the end of the day.  Though if I look at it through the eyes of being a mother (not the housewife eyes) then today was really good.  The boys had a fun day, we read stories, had "school" time, made bread, went to the park for a picnic with daddy, went shopping, tried to fly a kite in our culdesac, and I feel that I did much better than usual at keeping my patience and responding in loving ways.  Keeping it real... trying to keep a balance.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Understanding Emotions

There was a wonderful write up in the Church News about "Understanding emotions in early childhood helps overall health."  (You can listen to the whole lecture here or here.)  It really brought home for me and put into words some of the feelings and thoughts that I have been pondering lately.  That of the difference between the worlds multiple pop-parenting views and ideas, and that of a Christ like Charity, true gospel centered parenting.  I feel like my mind has been so bombarded with all of the social stigmas of what a child should and should not say or do, the schedule a child should keep, and the best methods of how to get a child to do what you want him/her to do, that I have allowed some bad habits into our parenting lives.  And lately it has been really pressing upon my mind, wondering what the true approaches should be, and how to still the frustration that I feel when one of my boys doesn't always do what I want him to do when I want him to do it or acts out in ways that I think are unacceptable.  I have been feeling lately that a lot of the little things that happen daily don't really matter in the eternal sense of things, you know; a potty accident, not being as quick getting ready for the day, getting out of bed at night for this-that-or the other.  It isn't what they do or don't do that matters, it is what I do or don't do in response that matters!  It really hit home when I heard my oldest child reprimanding one of the younger ones and thought "where did he learn to that?" and realized that unfortunately he has learned it from me.  It wasn't awful but it wasn't charitable loving or kind.  And I realized that with all I'm 'trying' to 'teach' them by different 'methods' isn't really teaching them, it was my attitude, tone of voice, and facial expressions that they were really learning, my charity and love or lack there of.  And I must say that when feeling frustrated that they 'still hadn't learned not to _______'  (hit their brother, call names, fight, take toys away, etc... all ways that children express their feelings); that my tone of voice and attitude was generally frustrated or aggravated or exasperated, not so charitable...  and I have been pondering on and working on seeing things from a different light.  Trying not to compare my children to what I think everyone else might think of them (because really I doubt anyone really takes the time to analyze them like that anyway... I know I don't do that to anyone else's children, my mind is usually to full of taking care of my children).   Instead I am going to work on seeing them as the Savior does, as Heavenly Father wants me to see them, and to love them and Show that Love in my face, tone of voice, actions, and words.  That they learn by my example to be kind and loving and to teach each other, instead of reprimanding or commanding, to help us all along the path of charity, love, and back into our Father's loving arms.

Some other wonderful thoughts and resources that enhance the idea of charitable Parenting:


Chapter 3: Teaching Infants and Toddlers: from Birth to Approximately Three Years,"  A Parent's Guide, (1985)
"While your children are very young, you can teach them the value of loving and being loved. "
"... if you wish your children to be taught in the principles of the gospel, if you wish them to love the truth and understand it, if you wish them to be obedient to and united with you, love them! and prove to them that you do love them by your every word or act to them. For your own sake, for the love that should exist between you and your [children]—however wayward they might be … when you speak or talk to them, do it not in anger, do it not harshly, in a condemning spirit. Speak to them kindly; get them down and weep with them if necessary and get them to shed tears with you if possible. Soften their hearts; get them to feel tenderly toward you. Use no lash and no violence, but … approach them with reason, with persuasion and love unfeigned. … Get them to feel as you feel, have interest in the things in which you take interest, to love the gospel as you love it, to love one another as you love them; to love their parents as the parents love the children. You can’t do it any other way” 
“our children are the most precious gift that our Father bestows upon us. If we can guide their feet in the pathway of salvation, there will be joy eternal for us and for them”
 "Be loving when you correct your children. Do not withhold affection from them as a way to chastise them, for they may not learn to give affection to others."

Chapter 4: Teaching Children: from Four to Eleven Years," A Parent’s Guide, (1985)
"The home is the best place in the world to teach the child self-restraint, to give him happiness in self-control, and respect for the rights of others."
“I feel that the first contribution of the home to the happiness of the child is to impress him with the fact that there are bounds beyond which he cannot go with safety; second, to teach him to be considerate of the rights of others; third, to have him feel that home is a place where confidences and consolations are exchanged; and fourth, to have him cherish the thought that home is a haven of seclusion and rest from the worries and perplexities of life” ~ Pres. David O. McKay

Now, just because I have written this, am I doing it just perfectly?  No, I am human, I make mistakes.  But I am working on Becoming better and striving to do these things!  That is the great thing about this life, we get to consistently work to Become more than we are, more like Him.  And writing it all out, helps, because now on 'one of those days' I can come back and read and re-experience the feelings and answers that I have found, to help me continue working to Become the best mother that I can be.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Pre-school musings.... again....

I am constantly trying to assess the best ways to "pre-school" our little boys and I continue to find that I am not in agreement with the ideas that are presented in many preschools and preschool curriculum's.  Children are meant to be children, and from many of my studies, even as an Early-childhood education major in college, I  find more and more evidence that the logic of learning through enjoyable, relaxed, and home-made activities and from the everyday love and guidance of the mother, is the best possible education a child can have!  I keep fretting that I haven't "scheduled" out a perfect preschool for 2 hours twice a week.  But then I see how much enjoyment my boys have in being able to just do things when we are in the right moment.  For example, the other morning they had a ball cutting up construction paper into a million little pieces, there was no pressure to cut perfectly on the lines or peer pressure, but they are learning to use scissors and fine-motor skills and mostly enjoying being a child and exploring the cause and effects in their world.

 As I think back to when I was a child... I was not required to preform and do certain things that put me under pressure to "do it right, or like so-and-so"?  I was allowed the freedom to explore and try new things within the safety and security of a loving home environment.  I think most of us who are mothers now did not experience preschool, as it was not such a widespread and "expected" thing during our childhood.  In fact Pre-school was started as a program for children who were deprived a stable loving environment to learn the basics in, and it has obviously changed into a social "norm".  We may not have had all the experiences, socialization, and crafts in the same manner that can be had now... but I certainly do not regret it!

 I had my mother, she lovingly watched over me, she sang to me, she read to me, she taught me many things through everyday experiences, she gave me the freedom to enjoy my childhood without the structure and pressures of adult life and schooling at too young an age.  That is what I want for my children.  Life has so many pressures and structure and responsibility and time passes all to quickly.  Children are meant to learn joy from their mothers, just as we are meant to have Joy in our children, and we can learn so much from watching and taking time to be with them and love them.  And to experience the joy and satisfaction of seeing their eyes light up when they learn something new for the first time.

 I love Sis. Hinckley's attitude toward having her children at home "(she) loved the sound of the screen door slamming shut as the children ran in from the backyard... Marjorie savored the days she had her five to herself, and she went to great lengths to keep summers unstructured so her young ones would have time to lie in the gully and listen to the birds sing if they wanted to.  She wept each fall when it was time to send her brood back to school; even when school was in session she looked forward to the moment each day when her children burst through the door and started scrounging for an afternoon snack..." Glimpses into the Life and Heart of Marjorie Pay Hinckley pg.52-53  I want to cultivate that feeling into my heart, family, and my children's lives.  THIS is my time to enjoy every minute I can and teach my children through my daily living and love.

    But believe me, I have days that I just needed a break from it all and that life and responsibilities seems so very demanding.  I am not the perfect mother, no one is, but I am working on becoming the best mother I can be, as we all are.  I love the word becoming, to become means: to undergo change or development, and I like the idea that we are all working towards becoming who we and more importantly who our Beloved Father in Heaven wants us to become.  I feel that that means that we don't have to be perfect right now, we all make mistakes, but we can continue to work toward what we can become, and it gives me hope and optimism.  

Some links that have furthered my thoughts on preschool...

Should I send my child to Preschool?
Better Late than Early

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

"No, No, No, No, No"

  If you can imagine hearing the title come from an unhappy 5 year old you just might hear what I heard last night.  "That is all you ever say!  No, no, no, no, no!"  We had just suggested that there was no dessert for the evening, since Halloween and each proceeding holiday, we seem to have had candy in our home consistently.  And we are trying to scale it back (I just need to throw it out, then there would be no discussion. ;-)   He also mentioned this same thing a few nights ago, when he really opened up to me about some of his frustrations, as well as that I say "just a minute" far to often.  And honestly it took me back for a minute, realizing what I was doing.  As I thought on it, a quote I had read came to mind - again from Sis. Hinckley's book.


"My mother taught me some basic philosophies of rearing children.  One is that you have to trust children.  I tried hard never to say "no" if I could possibly say "yes."  I think that worked well because it gave my children the feeling that I trusted them and they were responsible to do the best they could." pg.55

I would like my boys to feel that I trust them and that they are responsible... so I'm going to work on not saying no, except for when it Really matters.  I remember in one of my Family Sciences classes discussing how parents should try to save saying "No" for life and death sort of matters or in other words the times that it is really important and then children will learn to respect that word more.  And not feel like "I think that is the 100th time today I've heard you say no, why does it matter more this time?"  Beyond that they will feel validated and that you have more respect for them because you aren't always giving negative feedback.  Of course that doesn't mean you are a doormat to their whims!  There are a multitude of other ways to help a child realize that something can't happen the way they want or right at that moment.  What else is there to do?  Ask questions!  If I ask them what is right or wrong (there should be some background lessons during unemotional teaching moments on what is right and wrong) or what we should do, they usually know!  If not it is much easier to help them find the right answer then when I say no....  When they give me the answer, they are far less likely to think that throwing a fit will change my mind.  They also feel like they are more in control of themselves which helps them feel responsible, trusted, and valued.  And though it is sometimes harder for me to do because it requires more forethought... it is much easier and happier for everyone involved!
Every child and every adult is individual and different! When you are doing your best and seeking inspiration as to what is best for your child(ren) you will be given the guidance that you and they need. It likely will be quite different than what I or someone else is doing, but you need to do what is right and best for your child. I hope that some of my experiences can help someone on their quest to learn how to become all that they can become, I am glad that I have recorded them!

Please join in and share thoughts, tips, and things that will help uplift and enrich mothers, children, and families!